


lay with me

by nommonkeypie



Series: can't get you out of my head [6]
Category: Block B
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-11
Updated: 2017-08-11
Packaged: 2018-12-14 02:16:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11773407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nommonkeypie/pseuds/nommonkeypie
Summary: Mine.The thought kept repeating in his head, over and over.





	1. Chapter 1

Jaehyo’s stomach did a little flip even as he entered the code to Jiho’s apartment. It was quickly becoming familiar to him but he couldn’t quite get used to this feeling. Jiho wasn’t it but he’d said he’d be by soon. Which is why Jaehyo had food for the guy in his hand. He set the bag on the counter.

Sitting down on the couch, Jaehyo pulled out his phone to skim messages.There wasn’t anything new but it was something to do, to kill time. He wasn’t sure just when Jiho would be in.

He must have fallen asleep. It was the only explanation for how Jiho had gotten in without Jaehyo noticing. Not that Jaehyo minded. The sight of Jiho curled up next to him made Jaehyo’s stomach flutter.

He fought the urge to reach over, to touch Jiho and make sure the guy was really real. A few weeks of this...well, he wasn’t entirely sure what this was. They weren’t dating but it didn’t feel like this was just a simple friendship. It didn’t seem real though.

Jaehyo rested a hand on Jiho’s head, petting the guy’s hair. He was disappointed that it wasn’t as soft as it looked. Then again, with the amount of work that had been to the guy’s hair, it was understandable. Still, Jaehyo had to admit he liked the current shade of blond. It suited Jiho.

Jiho let out a soft whimper. Jaehyo smiled and kept up the motion. He could spend all night doing this. It was a weird realization. It should have seemed strange. Instead it was comforting.

Jiho shifted. Jaehyo smiled. “I missed you,” Jaehyo whispered. “Missed moments like this.” It couldn’t be helped though, not with Jiho’s life and his busy schedule.

Jiho blinked, slowly at first and then rapidly as he woke up. “-ou say someth’ng hyung?” The guy asked, sleep affecting his speech. It was cute and Jaehyo couldn’t help but smile.

“Nothing important,” he answered as Jiho sat up. “Have a good nap?”

A loud yawn was Jiho’s response. “Should I be asking you that? You didn’t even wake up when I came in.”

True. Jaehyo waved his hand as if that could, would, dismiss the thought. It didn’t but it made Jiho smile. That was all that was really important. “There’s some food on the counter,” Jaehyo added. “It’s chicken so it should still be good.” He’d thought about getting noodles but with not knowing just when Jiho would be getting in, chicken seemed a better choice.

Jiho’s eyes lit up. “Have I ever told you that you’re the best?” He asked as he practically teleported to the counter, pulling food out of the bag.

Jaehyo leaned back on the couch, content to just watch Jiho. He’d never expected a life like this. Had never expected he’d be so lucky. He could still remember that first moment he’d seen Jiho, had been caught in his intense and focused gaze. Jaehyo had never expected to see those same eyes twinkling with delight at a bag with fried chicken. Or that he’d ever even get to meet the guy, let alone call him by his name. Be allowed to touch him.

Jiho looked up. “Hyung?”

“Hm?” Jaehyo cocked his head to the side. “Something wrong?”

Jiho shook his head. “You’re staring.”

Oh. Jaehyo felt his face warm and he looked away. He knew he shouldn’t be embarrassed but he was. Jiho’s loud laughter filled the apartment. It was comforting. Another laughing would have made the situation worse but with Jiho, it was okay. Jiho understood.

Jiho brought over enough for both of them. It was a sweet gesture, especially since there wasn’t a ton of food. Jaehyo had eaten earlier, before he’d come over, but it was still sweet of Jiho to try and share.

“You eat it,” Jaehyo insisted, pushing the food back towards Jiho. “I’m fine.”

The look on Jiho’s face clearly showed his disbelief. Jaehyo shook his head and laughed. “Fine, one bite,” he conceded. “But you eat the rest.” He didn’t say it but Jaehyo could see how thin Jiho was getting. Too much work and travel and stress.

Jaehyo smiled as the younger man ate, the happy noises coming from him enough to tell Jaehyo he'd picked the right thing. He'd never really cared before but he wished he could cook.

“What? I got something in my face?” Jiho was looking at him.

“Nope, just wishing I was better at cooking,” Jaehyo admitted.

Jiho put down the piece of chicken. “You can't be that bad hyung.”

“I burned a pot one time trying to make potatoes.”

Jiho’s eyes darted to his kitchen, something that looked a lot like worry or maybe concern in them. It was cute and laughter bubbled from Jaehyo. “I won’t touch your stove,” Jaehyo promised. “No need to worry.”

It didn’t take Jiho long to eat. When he was done, he sat on the couch near Jaehyo. They weren’t touching and it was killing Jaehyo. He wanted to touch the younger guy. He didn’t realize just how much he craved Jiho until now with nothing but himself stopping it from happening.

He scooted over, getting closer to Jiho until they were touching. Jaehyo avoided looking at the younger guy as he rested his head on Jiho’s shoulder. It was actually rather nice that they were so similar in height. Jiho shifted, slipping an arm around Jaehyo.

They’d gotten close like this a few times but never anything more. Not that Jaehyo didn’t want more to happen. He was becoming aware just how much he cared for Jiho. It was more than a physical attraction. He’d always thought that maybe it was a just a crush on a celebrity but knowing Jiho the way he did now showed him that that thought was wrong.

He snaked his own arm around Jiho, holding and hugging him. He could feel rather than see Jiho’s head turn to look at him. Jaehyo didn’t look up but he could imagine the questioning look on Jiho’s face. They had decided to take it slow, to not rush into this again and do something like sleep together too soon.

But that didn’t mean they had to be stuck in stasis either.

Jiho must have gotten the message because Jaehyo felt something softly press on the top of his head. He wasn’t sure if it was lips or a chin but either way, it made him smile. Jiho’s thumb starting stroking Jaehyo’s arm. It was almost enough to make the guy melt. He’d never pictured his arm as a spot that’d affect him so much.

\---

There was a heavy weight around Jiho when he woke up. For a moment, he panicked. And then Jaehyo mumbled something, more asleep than awake and Jiho was able to relax. He remembered inviting Jaehyo to stay the night, to share his bed. No sex, just sleep.

Jaehyo had an arm around his waist, the older guy’s long legs curled around Jiho’s own. The warmth was comforting. Jiho didn’t want to get out of bed. He could lay here all day. It’s all he wanted. Moving slowly, he turned so that he could face Jaehyo.

The man was beautiful. Jiho knew that that. He’d know it ever since the first moment he’d seen the man. But now, relaxed and sleeping, it was more obvious than ever that Jaehyo was incredibly good looking.

Jiho was torn between letting Jaehyo sleep and kissing him. The sight of him sleeping was magic. All Jiho wanted in life was this and that was a startling realization because he’d always thought music was his life. Ever since he was a kid, he’d imagined a life full of music. He’d never thought of relationships, of life outside of music. But he wanted more of this. If he could have more moments like this, it would make all the work and effort worth it. He’d never felt this safe and comfortable in his own bed before.

They hadn’t kissed yet. The urge was strong though. Jiho just wanted to stay in his bed, in this moment, kissing Jaehyo.

He gave in, lightly pressing his lips against Jaehyo’s own. Jaehyo’s lips were soft, softer than he remembered.

There was no response from Jaehyo but it was a soft, chaste sort of kiss so Jiho wasn’t surprised. He was just glad that Jaehyo had let him back into his life. Jiho knew he didn’t deserve this, didn’t deserve Jaehyo. He snuggled a little closer. The motion must have gotten through to Jaehyo because the arm around Jiho tightened its grip, pulling Jiho even closer.

Not that Jiho could see. Somehow he’d ended with a face full of Jaehyo chest. It was a nice chest though so he wasn’t complaining. He closed his eyes, breathing in the smell of his laundry detergent mixed with Jaehyo’s personal smell. It was an intoxicating mix, especially knowing that Jaehyo was wearing one of Jiho’s shirts.

_Mine._

The thought kept repeating in his head, over and over. He closed his eyes, ready to go back to sleep even though he knew he should be getting up. That he had a schedule today.

An alarm went off. It wasn’t Jiho’s. Jaehyo groaned. Jiho smiled at the sound, glad his face was hidden. The grumbling continued as Jaehyo moved around, no doubt fumbling for his phone to turn the alarm off.

“Sorry,” Jaehyo said, voice still heavy with sleep. He seemed to be aware enough to recognize that Jiho had woken up.

“It’s fine,” Jiho answered, not moving. He’d never imagine he’d enjoy being curled up with someone like this but it was rather comforting. It reminded him of when he was a kid and scared and had run to his mom for a hug. Except the firm chest he was holding onto was definitely unlike his mother.

“Should probably get up,” Jaehyo mumbled back.

“Probably,” Jiho agreed. He sighed and started shifting, moving so that he was laying next to Jaehyo and could see the beautiful man.

The look in Jaehyo’s eyes...it made Jiho want to shiver. It also made him want to close the small space between them and kiss the man. It didn’t matter that he could only see half of Jaehyo’s face. That look...it went right through him. Jiho was sure that Jaehyo could see into his soul, see just who and what kind of person Jiho really was.

He couldn’t help himself. Jiho scooted over as best he could, laying a quick kiss on the other guy’s nose. He’d been aiming for Jaehyo’s lips but had apparently missed. Embarrassing didn’t cover just how bad this was.

Jaehyo laughed. It just bubbled out of the man, making Jiho want to hide under the blanket. He couldn’t though. Not when Jaehyo had such a happy look on his face.

“Please do that every morning when I wake up,” the guy asked, amusement clearly written all over his face. “Jiho, promise me.”

Kill him now. Jiho was disappointed when death did not appear. So instead he did the next best and logical thing. He smacked Jaehyo with a pillow. It wasn’t hard and only made Jaehyo laugh even harder.

“You know you love me.” Jaehyo was obviously joking, the words slipping out automatically and without thought.

They both realized just what he said at the same moment. Silence took over as they stared at each other.

It felt like an eternity. All Jiho could see was the soft brown of eyes Jaehyo’s eyes, the pretty pink of his lips. He knew Jaehyo was waiting for Jiho to say something.

Did he love Jaehyo? 

He knew he was physically attracted to the man. Ahn Jaehyo was the best looking man Jiho had ever seen. At times it seemed like Jaehyo was the lead in a drama. He was handsome and nice and caring and he had this special talent for making Jiho feel like he was the center of Jaehyo’s world. And that was a powerful feeling, one that was both terrifying and exhilarating. 

But was that love?

He was certain only a few seconds had passed but this moment felt like it was stretching into forever. And it had to feel even longer to Jaehyo.

Jiho let his fingers trail across Jaehyo’s jaw line. “I can't imagine my life without you,” he told the man, hoping that would help put Jaehyo at ease. It was too early to know if this was love or something masquerading as it. However his words were the truth. Life without Jaehyo in it just didn't sound like a life.

Jaehyo’s hand reached up, resting on top of Jiho’s fingers. He didn't say anything but the expression in his eyes said he understood what Jiho was saying. 

Then that damned alarm of Jaehyo’s started ringing again.

\---

Jaehyo stopped at the sight of the motorcycle outside his apartment building. Crap. Taeil had decided to drop by.

“Didn’t you wear that yesterday?”

The sound of his friend’s voice came from behind Jaehyo. He turned, not at all surprised to see Taeil walking down the sidewalk, a bag in hand from the convenience store down the block.

“You’re loud,” was all Jaehyo had the strength to say. “What’s got you coming over?” They were friends but not the sort who hung out everyday most of the time. They both had their own lives and it wasn’t often they both had time off.

“So that’s a yes.” Taeil reached the bike and stood next to it, waiting for Jaehyo to join them. “What’s got you just now getting home?”

Fair question. It was after lunch already. Not that Jaehyo had eaten lunch. Jiho’s place had a rather sad lack of food. Heading up the stairs to his apartment, Jaehyo knew Taeil would follow.

“I stayed over at a friend’s place,” Jaehyo answered, hoping that would be enough but he knew it wouldn’t be.

Taeil made a noise. Somehow that noise was able to show his disbelief. Jaehyo knew he was in for it once they reached his apartment. Sadly, the door was in sight so he knew he didn’t have long.

“It was late and all I did was sleep over,” Jaehyo added as he unlocked the door. He could hear the excuses in his own voice. It was rather sad too because he knew they weren’t just excuses.

It was a sign of their friendship that Taeil felt comfortable to plop down at Jaehyo’s little table and start digging through his bag of snacks to start eating. He waved a hand over the food, inviting Jaehyo to join in. The offer was dangerous though. Taeil was too close of a friend and knew just a little too much about Jaehyo’s life. But he was also hungry.

Jaehyo sat at the table, reaching over to grab a bag of...well something. The bag wasn’t one he recognized but it read ‘shrimp chips’ so it couldn’t be bad.

“You moved on from your married guy?” Taeil asked as he pulled out a can of juice and opened it.

Jaehyo all but shoved his mouth full of chips. It was obvious that he was trying to avoid answering that question. Taeil groaned.

“You’re back to seeing him.”

It wasn’t a question. Instead it was a very pointed and disappointed statement. Jaehyo still had a mouth full of chips. He knew he had to respond though. He gave a little nod.

Taeil just groaned again, even louder this time. “You’re an idiot.”

And this was why he hadn’t wanted Taeil to know about this. Jaehyo just kept munching on the chips so he wouldn’t have to talk.

Luckily his friend seemed content to leave the matter at that for the moment. Jaehyo knew there was a chance he’d get grilled on all this later but for now he was momentarily safe. Taeil reached over and turned on the tv, flipping through channels. Jaehyo didn’t know what his friend was looking for but he didn’t really care either.

“Not working today?” Jaehyo asked. He set the partially eaten bag of chips on the table and stood up. He needed a shower and to get out of yesterday’s clothes.

“Nope. Mom keeps dropping hints of wanting grandkids,” Taeil replied, eyes focused on whatever it was he’d found on tv. “I think she convinced Dad to let me have the day off in hopes I’d meet someone.”

_Ouch._ Jaehyo didn’t know what that was like. Thankfully he had an older brother and a niece so his mom’s own lust for grandchildren was being fulfilled and the pressure was off him. Taeil wasn’t quite so lucky.

“Jumping in the shower,” he told his friend as Jaehyo walked over to his small bathroom. “You okay?”

Taeil just gave a little head nod in response which Jaehyo took to mean was a yes.

Jaehyo didn’t feel like he could full breath until he was alone in the shower, hot water pouring over him. The heat was deliciously warm, reminding him of what it felt like to be in Jiho’s bed. Jiho had been so warm. So cute. The embarrassed look on the younger man’s face when he gave that silly nose kiss. Jaehyo grinned.

He knew he was in too deep, that he cared for Jiho probably more than he should. The man had hurt him before. Jaehyo remembered how he’d felt when he read that letter, when he realized Jiho was gone after they’d slept together. It had been had to pull himself out of that feeling. He hadn’t been able to do that alone.

He realized that was almost certainly the reason why Taeil was camped out in the apartment at the moment. Ever since Jiho had left his life (as short a period as it had been), Taeil had stepped up and helped him. Taeil wasn’t the sort of friend who Jaehyo could or even would spill all his secrets to. After all, he still hadn’t told the guy Jiho’s true identity.

_“I can’t imagine my life without you.”_

Despite the heat of the water, Jaehyo shivered as Jiho’s words repeated in his head.

Ever since he’d first seen Woo Jiho, he’d known the guy was someone special. That his life would have to involve the man. Jaehyo was able to realize now that it had been love at first sight. He found himself weirdly relieved though that that had been Jiho’s response. Because saying love now was too much. Even having been in love with the man for years, Jaehyo knew it was too early to actually say that.

“You better not be jerking off in there!”

Taeil’s voice cut through the thoughts in Jaehyo’s head. Any and all thoughts of Jiho were pushed aside for the moment as Jaehyo just felt like banging his head against the wall of his shower. Why was he friends with this guy again?

When the water started to turn cold, Jaehyo stepped out. He quickly got dressed in the sweats he’d snagged before jumping in the shower.

He wasn’t at all surprised to see that Taeil hadn’t moved. He was surprised to see Taeil apparently enthralled with a drama. It was one that Jaehyo had heard of but hadn’t sat down to watch. He had a passing interest in it though thanks to one of the actors.

Young and upcoming drama star Pyo Jihoon was on-screen. Jaehyo knew who he was thanks to Jiho and Block B. The actor was friends with the group but Jaehyo hadn’t paid much more attention than that.

“What’s going on?” Jaehyo asked as he sat down at the table with Taeil.

“Kid got caught up in some gambling debts and now they’re making him pay,” Taeil replied, eyes glued to the tv screen.

“Didn’t know you were a fan of this show,” Jaehyo answered as he snagged grabbed a soda and took a drink.

“My brother’s a fan and got me into it,” Taeil replied. He visibly winced as the actor on screen was beaten up by a small group of men. “You got a phone call while you in the shower.”

It was automatic to reach for his phone and check. It was a disappointment and a relief to see the call had been from his brother. A message in kakao showed that his brother wanted to know if he’d be coming home anytime soon. A pang of guilt went through Jaehyo as he realized just how long it had been since he’d last seen his family.

“They want to know when I can come home for a bit,” Jaehyo answered, seeing the curious look on his friend’s face.

“Do they know about married guy?” Taeil asked, his attention back on the drama.

“You’re the only one who knows,” Jaehyo answered. He still felt bad about the lie. But he couldn’t tell Taeil the truth. Not yet anyways. Maybe one day.

\---

Jiho smiled to himself as he parked his car. It was a little flashy for the neighborhood but sticking it in a parking garage helped. He’d finished today’s schedule early, far earlier than expected. And all he wanted to do was see Jaehyo.

A motorcycle was sitting outside Jaehyo’s building. His curiosity drew him to take a look at it but he wasn’t a motorcycle person so he had no clue what kind it was or anything else about it.

He wished he knew which apartment was Jaehyo’s. It wasn’t a big building and Jiho was sure he could probably figure it out fairly fast but he didn’t necessarily want to go door to door until he found Jaehyo either.

_I’m outside_

He figured that message alone would grab Jaehyo’s attention.

The reply took longer than he expected. Actually, it would have been nice if one had come at all. Instead there was nothing. After a few minutes, he began wondering if Jaehyo was even home.

It was stupid to think that Jaehyo would be around. He had a life of his own. But still Jiho wanted to get a response. But instead there was nothing. After a few more minutes, Jiho sighed and started back for his car.

He sat in the driver’s seat, resting his forehead against the wheel. The cold was normally a welcome feeling but all it did now was remind Jiho that he was alone right now when he didn’t want to be. He wanted to see Jaehyo, to try and capture the magic from the morning. He’d been missing and craving it ever since he’d had to get out of bed.

Jiho looked at his phone one last time, hoping to see a message from Jaehyo. Still nothing. He sighed and drove home.


	2. Chapter 2

Taeil was singing. Normally Jaehyo didn’t mind listening to his friend but not when it was way too fucking early in the morning and Taeil was waking him up by singing in his shower.

“Shut up!” Jaehyo groaned, pulling the blanket over his head.

Taeil got louder.

“You’re an ass!” Jaehyo added. He fumbled for his phone, trying to figure out what time it was. The sun was shining obnoxiously bright which meant it was probably late. He didn’t have anything to do today but he’d love to know just why the fuck Taeil was still here.

There was just one problem. Jaehyo’s phone was dead. Fuck. Sitting up, Jaehyo groaned. His charger was all the way over in the kitchen area. He knew it was only a few steps but it felt like forever when he was warm and comfortable in bed. His bed was amazing, almost as comfortable as Jiho’s had been.

Taeil was out of the shower by the time Jaehyo got his phone plugged in.

“You use all the hot water?” Jaehyo asked. His hot water was shitty at best and he knew Taeil liked to boil himself.

“Dunno,” Taeil answered, shrugging.

Jaehyo groaned. So no, he had no hot water. Which sucked because a long hot shower sounded amazing right about now. “If you want something to eat, you gotta make it yourself.” Especially since Taeil was the better cook between the two of them anyways.

“No time. I’m supposed to be at work in a little bit,” Taeil answered as he grabbed a drink from the fridge.

Jaehyo rolled his eyes. Of course it’d be like that. He heard his phone turn on, finally having enough power. Instead he turned to his small fridge to see what he had to eat. It was a whole lot of nothing which just made the morning worse.

“You’re a bad guest,” he told Taeil. All that did was make his friend laugh as he walked out the door, leaving Jaehyo alone for the first time in a day. It was a strange feeling, realizing there was no one there. In just a short amount of time, he’d gotten used to having someone around. Even if they weren’t talking, that person was still there. And now...quiet. It should have been relaxing. Instead it just reminded Jaehyo how alone he really was.

Closing his fridge, he looked at his phone and wondered if...shit. A message from Jiho.

_I’m outside_

Jaehyo’s breath caught in his throat. Jiho had been here? Jiho had come to him. It was such a little thing but Jaehyo had to bite his lip to keep from feeling overwhelmed. A silly thing. He knew this but he couldn’t help it. He had always been the one to go to Jiho but Jiho had come to him.

“I just saw your message,” Jaehyo said. He couldn’t believe Jiho had actually picked up. “Sorry. Phone died last night.”

Jiho didn’t reply right away. In fact, he didn’t reply at all. Jaehyo knew the guy was there. He could hear Jiho breathing.

“I’m sorry. I really am. Are you busy? Maybe we could grab something to eat.” Jaehyo hoped he wasn’t pushing it. They’d mostly spent their time in private. It was safer and easier that way. But he was hungry and seeing Jiho was something he wanted to do. He wanted to soak up every possible moment with the man that he could.

“I can’t. I’ve got a schedule in a bit,” Jiho answered.

“Oh.” Jaehyo couldn’t hide the disappointment in his voice. “That sucks.”

“Yeah. I hate doing this but I gotta go. My ride’s supposed to be here any minute and I need the line clear.”

Alone again.

Jaehyo leaned against his counter, trying to hold it together. He knew Jiho’s career was important, that his career came first. This was no new thing. Still this was the first time he’d heard Jiho say those words and they hit Jaehyo harder than he’d imagined they would.

“I should get a dog,” he murmured to himself. Maybe that would help with the loneliness. This place was far too small for one though and he was gone too often.

He grabbed his fishing gear. Sure he didn’t have any plans but that didn’t mean he had to sit around his apartment, drinking shitty beer, and feeling sad about Jiho being busy. He could could outside and do all that.

A little while later, Jaehyo found himself walking along the river. It was a nice day out. The weather was absolutely beautiful, the sort of day a person dreamed of. Clear, cornflower blue skies with a few wispy white clouds scattered around in no particular pattern. It was warm but not unbearable. Finding a spot that looked good and he’d had some success at before, Jaehyo plopped down.

It was a nice spot. A few people were around but they were involved in their own worlds. Pulling up a playlist on his phone, Jaehyo sat there and stared at the water. It was so easy to lose himself like this. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been able to fish. Everything in his life had been busy lately. And Jiho made his life complicated.

Jiho made everything complicated. But then Jaehyo remembered the feeling of Jiho’s hands, his lips. The sound of Jiho’s voice whispering in his ear. And any anger, any resentment melted away. He’d known who Jiho was and what a relationship might mean. He knew what it felt like to get burnt too. He’d forgiven Jiho but that didn’t mean he’d forgotten.

Deep down, Jaehyo knew he was afraid that one day Jiho would wake up and realize he didn’t care for Jaehyo. Just cut Jaehyo out of his life and never look back. That he’d get sick of Jaehyo. After all, Jiho was a celebrity. He wasn’t just an idol. He was growing into this huge musical superstar, known as a talented rapper, producer, and singer. Why in the world would someone like that be interested in a normal guy like Jaehyo?

The fact that they’d clicked at all was a miracle. But how long would it last?

Jiho’s voice sang softly, playing from Jaehyo’s shitty phone speaker. If he closed his eyes, he could almost imagine what it’d be like to sit here, Jiho at his side. It could only ever be a dream. This wasn’t something he could do with Jiho. They could never go grocery shopping. Never go on a real date. Not without it absolutely destroying Jiho’s career.

Why did Jiho care about him? The whole relationship between them was just Jiho playing with fire. The more Jaehyo thought about it, the more he realized they couldn’t have any sort of happy ending. They couldn’t be a couple, not a real one anyways. Not unless Jiho was willing to give up music and ruin his reputation. He wouldn’t be. And if he did it anyways, Jaehyo knew he’d always feel guilty about just what Jiho had given up. Jiho would more than likely end up resenting him.

It took a moment for him to realize his phone was ringing.

“Hi mom.”

“Did something happen? It took you longer than normal to answer.” Hearing his mother’s voice right now helped chase away the negative cloud his thoughts had brought him to.

“I got a little free time and went fishing. I think I started dozing,” he answered. A smile worked its way onto his face. He couldn’t help it.

“You have free time and didn’t come see us?” She scolded.

“Just the day. But I have a little free time coming up…” he trailed off. He could go to Busan. It’d been a little while since he’d actually seen his family.

\---

Jiho stretched. His neck and back were killing him. Looking at the time, he groaned. After 3am. Way too late, especially when he had a schedule in a few hours. He loved his life but at the same time, he wished it wasn’t quite so exhausting.

He could drag himself home. A bed sounded amazing. Especially if Jaehyo was there. He loved the nights when Jaehyo would just let himself into Jiho’s apartment. As far as Jiho could tell, the guy just came over and hung out and slept in Jiho’s bed.

The thought of going home and curling up in bed with Jaehyo set a fire in Jiho’s belly. Sleep sounded so good but the idea of crawling into bed and running his fingers across Jaehyo’s smooth, perfect skin...Jiho had to bite his lip to keep from groaning. It’d been too long since they’d been able to do anything. Jiho just kept being too busy. Everywhere he looked, he turned, there was something pulling him from Jaehyo.

Honestly, Jaehyo was a saint for dealing with him.

There was no reason why Jaehyo should be with someone like Jiho. In terms of looks, the guy was far better looking. If he wanted, he could have had anyone he chose. He was kind and sweet, the sort of person everyone loved. He had a little fire too, enough that kept him from fading into the background like some boring, bland robot. Jaehyo was too good for Jiho. It was a terrible thing to admit to himself.

And there was no reason why Jaehyo should be with him. Jaehyo was the only one getting hurt by this relationship sort of thing they had. Were they really in a relationship? Sometimes it was hard to say. Jiho didn’t always feel like he could call Jaehyo his boyfriend. Not when they rarely saw each other. He was always cancelling and postponing on Jaehyo. Why was Jaehyo so patient with him?

If their positions were switched and it was Jaehyo who was the idol and Jiho the normal person, he wouldn’t have the patience for all this.

Jiho all but threw himself onto the uncomfortable couch that inhabited his studio. His bed was better but the couch was here. And the couch wouldn’t let him down if/when he got home and saw that no, no Jaehyo had gotten sick of him and his shit and had decided to walk away like any sane person would.

“You should be asleep.”

Jaehyo’s voice was warm and comforting even when he was scolding Jiho. A smile spread across the younger man’s face.

“So should you,” Jiho pointed out. He’d called Jaehyo without meaning to. He’d been laying on the couch and then the next thing he knew, his phone was dialing Jaehyo.

“Yeah, I should be.” He could hear the yawn in Jaehyo’s voice. It was cute. Jiho wished Jaehyo were here now or that he were with Jaehyo. He just wanted to see him, to touch and hold him. Even just for a brief moment. He knew just a kiss would be enough to drive away the exhaustion nibbling at his mind. “But my train leaves in a little bit.”

Or that. Jiho sat up, all sleepiness gone. “What?” His heart was fluttering, mildly panicked. What was going on? Why would Jaehyo need to be up so early to catch a train?

“My mom wants me to visit,” Jaehyo replied. He didn’t seem to notice how Jiho felt. Or if he did, he ignored Jiho’s panic. “I’m heading down to Busan for the week.”

A week without Jaehyo. The idea hurt even to think about. Sure, Jaehyo would still be relatively nearby. Jiho knew he shouldn’t complain. He’d left the country before with Jaehyo staying in Seoul. But the idea that there wouldn’t be a Jaehyo just a short drive away...it hurt.

Jiho knew he was in too deep when it came to Jaehyo. He’d known this for a long time. It still amazed him just how much he wanted the guy though.

“When do you leave?” Jiho hoped none of the desperation he felt was bleeding into his voice.

“Train leaves in a few hours but I had to pack,” Jaehyo answered, yawning loudly even as he spoke.

A few hours. Jiho had to be at the dance studio in a few hours. He should sleep. But he’d have a week without Jaehyo. At best, phone calls and texts were all they’d have. He shouldn’t complain. That’s all they usually had. But the idea of a week without Jaehyo...he bit his lip.

“Can I come over for a bit?”

It was a stupid thing to ask but Jiho felt like he need to see the man.

The pause that followed felt like it lasted a few hours.

“I...yeah. Sure,” Jaehyo finally said. With those words, Jiho felt like he could breathe again.

The drive to Jaehyo’s felt like it took no time and forever all at the same time. When Jaehyo’s door opened, Jiho all but fell into the tiny apartment.

“Ji...ho?” Jaehyo was looking at him, an unsure look on his face.

Jiho lifted his head from where he’d fallen onto the bed. “Lay with me?” He tried to not beg but he knew he’d failed. His voice sounded pitiful even to his own ears. He was too exhausted to care.

A warm smile replaced the unsure look on Jaehyo’s face. “You came all the way over here to lay in bed?” He asked, clearly amused.

“Lay with you,” Jiho mumbled in return. Jaehyo’s bed wasn’t as nice as Jiho’s own but damned if it wasn’t more comfortable. It smelled delicious, like home.

The bed dipped and shifted as Jaehyo obliged his request. Jiho rolled over so that they could lay face to face. Jaehyo was staring at him, almost like he was waiting for Jiho to do something. All Jiho wanted to do was take in every detail he could, memorize Jaehyo’s face so that Jiho would always remember him down to each and every pore.

“What? What is it?” Jaehyo asked.

Jiho shook his head. “It’s nothing. I...just...you get more handsome every time I see you.” He knew he was tired if he was saying stuff like this. Normally his brain would be screaming at him to not say stuff like that, that those sorts of things were too embarrassing for anyone other than a character in a drama to say.

Warm, almost impossibly hot hands slid under Jiho’s shirt and rested on the small of his back. They pulled Jiho closer, not that they could get much closer. Jaehyo’s bed wasn’t meant for two so it was already a rather tight fit since neither of them were exactly small men.

Jiho nuzzled Jaehyo’s neck, breathing in his natural scent. He knew he needed to sleep. It was just so damn hard with Jaehyo here. He needed to sleep. It was getting harder to stay awake even as he felt Jaehyo’s hands slip further south, undoing Jiho’s pants. He bit back a moan as he felt fingers brush against the sensitive skin there.

Jaehyo pulled away. Jiho whimpered, desperately wanting more even as he struggled to keep his eyes open. It was so easy to close his eyes, to lay back and let Jaehyo play with him. This wasn’t something he’d ever thought he wanted but by gods it was everything he needed right now.

The bed moved as Jaehyo shifted to sit on Jiho’s legs. Feeling skin on skin was enough to jolt Jiho into a more alert state. He hadn’t even realized Jaehyo’s own pants were gone. Jiho reached up to hold both of them. His grip was weak and barely did anything which was more frustrating than satisfying.

Jaehyo smiled and removed Jiho’s hand. He leaned down, peppering kisses all along Jiho’s chest. It was an intoxicating feeling. Jiho moaned as Jaehyo’s leg brushed against his cock. He wasn’t fully hard yet but if Jaehyo kept this up, it wouldn’t take long. His moan only seemed to encourage Jaehyo because he felt (rather than saw because it was too hard to keep his eyes open now) what had to be a tongue lap at the skin just below Jiho’s navel.

“Are you awake?” Jaehyo asked. His lips vibrated against the sensitive skin which only made Jiho grow harder.

“Keep...keep doing that,” he answered, trying not to melt into the bed.

Jaehyo laughed. It was beautiful. It was painful. His mouth was so close to Jiho’s cock, close enough that Jiho could feel the man’s hot breath on him. Almost as quickly, the warmth was gone, leaving him feel more sensitive than before.

Jiho couldn’t help but thrust. He wanted, needed, to feel something against himself. A hand pushed down on his hip and held him there. There were no other touches. Jiho started whimpering.

\---

He looked so soft and needy. Jaehyo was enjoying Jiho’s reactions. They were so soft and unlike the normally loud and controlling Jiho. The younger man was practically putty in Jaehyo’s hands right now. It was obvious the guy was trying to stay awake and failing. Jaehyo shifted, essentially laying on Jiho so that he could kiss him.

Even half asleep, Jiho responded to Jaehyo’s lips eagerly. His hands gripped Jaehyo’s butt cheeks. He should have been embarrassed. But then, maybe not. After all, Jiho was the one responding to everything, not the one deciding what would happen next. Jiho seemed content to lay and let Jaehyo just do whatever he wanted. It was a powerful feeling.

Jaehyo pushed down, grinding himself into Jiho. The motion caused Jiho to break off the kiss and gasp loudly. His fingers dug into Jaehyo’s skin. No doubt they’d leave a mark. Jaehyo was just glad it wasn’t somewhere his family might see.

That sort of reaction only encouraged Jaehyo to repeat the motion. It felt like it’d been so long since they’d gotten to do something like this. Jiho must have thought the same because he came from just that. Another time, Jaehyo would have been disappointed that Jiho didn’t last longer. But with Jiho curled up, clutching Jaehyo tightly, already fast asleep...it was the sort of thing that helped drive away all the negative thoughts he sometimes found himself having.

Jaehyo knew he should clean them up. He didn’t want to wake Jiho though, not when he looked so soft and almost sweet in his sleep. At least Jaehyo’s phone was within reach. Setting an alarm to go off in about 40 minutes, he laid down to nap with Jiho for a little longer.

\---

It took Jiho a few moments to realize he wasn’t in his own bed or on the couch at his studio. He was in Jaehyo’s bed. Alone. Which meant that hadn’t been a dream. He wasn’t sure if that was good or bad. If it’d been a dream, the empty space next to him wouldn’t hurt nearly as much.

Jaehyo was gone.

Knowing that Jaehyo was just visiting family, that he’d be back in a few days, helped but only a little. He should get up but instead he kept laying in Jaehyo’s bed, trying to take in everything he could. It took him a few moments to realize he was missing his pants. He still had his shirt on which only made the situation weirder. Well, weirder except he remembered that almost dream.

He reluctantly dragged himself out of bed. His underwear were missing. That one thing really stuck out as he looked around the small, dark room. After a few moments, Jiho gave up and opened Jaehyo’s dresser. It took a couple of tries but he found the man’s underwear. He didn’t think Jaehyo would care. Besides, he could return them before Jaehyo even noticed.

He had better luck finding his pants. They were folded on the desk. Jiho smiled. Jaehyo really was a sweet dork for doing that because there was no way this wasn’t the guy’s handiwork.

After the bed was made, there were no more reasons for Jiho to stay in the room. He didn’t want to leave but he knew that once he left, he wouldn’t be back until Jaehyo was back. Looking at the bed, Jiho just wanted to crawl back into it. He couldn’t though and knew this so he did the next best thing. He grabbed the pillow.

**Author's Note:**

> Well this took a little bit of time. Sorry! All the little bits of kudos help but the true champ is Mena who always sticks by me and encourages me every time I mention writing.


End file.
